Every season I tell myself I won't watch it. It's like watching Titanic. You know what happens. The boat sinks. With The Biggest Loser, they eat nothing, workout all day and at the end they're all thin and somebody wins a bunch of money. But, inevitably I catch an episode mid-season and I'm sucked back in. After 8 seasons of The Biggest Loser, I've decided:
1. Big folks ain't afraid of tears. Hell, they love emotion. Legit, bring on the psychotherapyworkoutgymisodes.
2. Don't bother remembering anyone's name. Just get them a colored shirt.
3. Doctors know everything. EVERYTHING. Do not question them. Or you will die.
4. When a gay man swears, he is mad.
5. I don't like cheeseburgers. They're terrible. Dog shit. I just eat them because I'm self destructive. Who knew.
6. There is a test that can tell you your biological age based on weight, illness and risk factors. I'd like to see an episode where the doc tells someone who's 25 that their biological age is 136. Cause they'd believe him. (See number 3.)
7. When a trainer calls you their bitch, prepare for the worst.
8. My bathroom scale isn't big enough.
9. I'd rather have a colonoscopy than a last chance workout.
10. It is possible to survive on celery, water, carrots and lettuce.
I'm gonna go make a milkshake and eat a brownie. You fatties have a great night.
Sincerely,
Sally B.
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