Sick joke.

I got an allergy test this week. FML.

Nurse: Well, it looks like you've got a few responses here.
Me: So, does that mean he [meaning the doc] will give me something to take?
Nurse: We have a lot of patients who decide to take allergy shots for convenience.
Me: I'm not afraid of needles. My baby sister passes out at the sight of them. Not me. Great veins. Check that out. [Showing her my arm.]
Nurse: We can set them up for you, if you'd like to commit to taking them once a week for 3-5 years. That's about how long it takes to get used to the bits of the allergens we place in the shot.
Me: 3-5 YEARS?!?! You said convenient! [It was about here that I went into panic attack mode.] I'm not one of those people with a 5 year plan for anything. I mean, I should probably sit down and write out some long term goals for myself, you know? I'd love to see Italy. I've always hoped I could get in with a publishing house. Be a book editor. I'd probably have to move to Chicago or New York, but I can take it. I like winter. Maybe date a food critic... cause they know the best restaurants.
Nurse: Well, some of the molds you're allergic to can be found in food and beverages... beer, wine, a lot of cheeses, condiments...
Me: Beer?!?! Wine?!?! CHEESE?!?! This is a sick joke... I might die. At the very least I might cry.
Nurse: [awkward chuckles] The good news is that these allergies won't kill you.
Me: That's what you think... You're a pretty good listener, actually.
Nurse: Thanks. Let me get you some information on our mold headache diet....

Some effing Wednesday!

I just had fries for lunch. NOT on the diet.

Sincerely,

Sally B.